capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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