She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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