His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
