i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
