shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
