I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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