i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
