I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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