it was like eating out sand paper
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
