I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
