you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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