Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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