What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
