Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
