there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
