i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
it glows. i had to have it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm too high and old for this...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
