Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just found puke in my bra..
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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