i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
