I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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