New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
