well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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