You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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