So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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