I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
