I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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