Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
