I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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