They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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