i jhust puked up my retainher.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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