We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize