The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
