Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
