dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
