I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
