he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
