im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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