My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Less talking, more tequila
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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