He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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