i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
