Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Me too!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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