Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
