Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
