Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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