So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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