Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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