this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
