i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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