you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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