i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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