sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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