I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
