We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I wish there were birth control emojis
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
