So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
