im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
