she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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