Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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