Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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