Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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