Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I am never drinking with the goths again.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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