we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
